wok’s talk while he walks

2nd time

This is da 2nd time im headin 2 bali…but i seem 2 b mo excited this time coz im bout 2 surf da motherfuckin wave…suppose 2 hav 2 companys..yet 1 of em r so scare of da H1N1 bullshit…she has 2 changed her flight 2 another date..so now im suppose 2 b da ‘godess guardian angel’ tour around wit a gal tats not even interested in culture..stories or even da beach…y she wanna travel ??? coz her purpose was jus plain n simple..she wanna b sum wher she never been….

Bunch of stupid surgeons

Im surprise 2 c lots of ‘Dr.’ when i arrived at da airport…ppl were wearin masks all over da place…givs me a feelin tat im at da hospital mo than da airport i must say……i dont know whether i should b afraid of em or should i b actin normal n shit…coz they might b sick …1 thing 4 sure i jus cant get my eyes off em ppl.. i jus feel really weird havin a whole bunch of ppl i dont know wearin masks around me……if shit does get worse (Hell NO !!)ppl gon start wearin em surgeon gloves n all em gon stick up thier hands all day long..by then we’re gon hav a real life Grey’s anatomy show evrywher …

However, when i boarded da flight…lots of ppl took off thier masks…tat defeat da purpose aint it..??i wonder wats da point wearin a mask when u needed it da most in a confined space 4 a few hours..??? sum chiggas jus dont use thier brains enuff….

Cant get my mind off of YOU 

Once we touched down…passed da imigration…on da transport 2 da hotel..thers only 2 things on my mind…they both start wit da Letter W…WAVES..n WEED…WEED n WAVES….guess wat….da 1st question i asked da guide takin us 2 da hotel was :wher can i get em weed…???’ (my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

Since im not gon b able 2 surf coz i dont know how 2 …n i didnt brought along my board (yes i do hav a surfboard even i dont know how 2 surf )…surfin were only 2nd 2 weed..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)….i know indon has da best WEED in da world…so as we settle down n walk along da beach checkin out da waves….(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)..i was anxiously waitin sum1 2 approach me n offer sum weed…(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)yet i only encounters sum old ladies tryin 2 sell me sum bullshit ass necklace n knick knacks…..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

..(my head kept sayin: weeed….waves…..weeed…waves)

it went on n on 4 a few hours til dinner time….

Jimbaran

Bout 5ish da guide brought us 2 a beach near da airport called Jimbaran 4 dinner..i gotta tel u…da place was meant 4 couples…dudes…if u bout 2 do sum corny ass proposal like ur in da movie n shit…JIMBARAN is da place 2 b…u got da SUN settin down by da orange sky as a scene…open table along da beach wit candle lite…waves breakin infront of u… splashin waves sound as background music….awesome seafood dinner…its really difficult 2 turn ur shit down aint it..??? if all tat shit aint workin..try payin a local 4 piece band 2 play ur gal’s fav lov songs…if tat shit STIL dont work…ditch ur bitch n find sum other single gals whose jus gon sit rite bside ur table…

Da food arrived in time after i took a few shots of pix n da sun sets jus rite after tat…pretty decent timing i must say…dinner starts wit a bowl of vegie soup..folow wit a plate of kangkung…main course was a  big plate of bbq seafood which consist a big piece of fish..a few shrimps..sum clamps..n 2 pieces of crab…da crab wasnt really good n meaty as i expected..but da fish + clamps were beatifully done..as for da shrimps it wasjus so so….it was a satisfyin dinner overall….n i had a FANTA !!…2 those whom dont know anythin bout FANTA..its a classic soft drink tat i use 2 hav when i was a kid…which is a lil difficult 2 find in msia now…

 Drug dealin

It was pretty early after we had dinner n head back 2 da hotel…my fren decided 2 walk around kuta beach 2 find sum massage place…da whole time i was walkin all i think about was WEED….da mo shady alley we passed by da mo i wanna walk in em jus hopin i’ll b offer sum shit…….we did pass

by sum beach bum along da main strip…n sum em holler at me n said : magic mushrooms…yet im not really interested in those…

As my frend decided 2 hav her foot massage…i decided 2 walk along da strip n beach as i dont know wat else i can do since i dont really like massages…da strip was full wit ‘ghost’ aka Mat salleh aka white ppl…2 b mo specific aussies…2 all da ladies…if ur lookin 4 sum ‘ghost’ as a bf..i think bali is da place 2 b…

30mins walkin back n foward along da strip..n lookin at da dark beach.. i almost givin up 2 get weed..as none approach me n offer me anythin unlike da last time…as i walk back 2 da  hotel…a kid tats slightly over 15 look at me n said :’ CEWET..??’ i never heard of tat word b4…so i asked .:Apa tu Cewet’ ..’young gals’ he replied..i look at him n tel him im not interested in no gals…can he offer me sumthin else..??? he asked me wat i wan..n i said GANJA ada…?? he came near me n asked me 2 folow him: ‘kita jalan-jalan bos…’ he picked up an empty ciggie box frm da ground stuffed da shit in it… head 2 da beach n i folowed…we squat down n began our ‘dealin’

It was pretty simple actually..he name a price..u said its 2 hi..u smell da shit…if its good u negotiate sum mo…name da price again..he agrees u agree..u take da shit frm him… both u hug n went ur seperate ways…drug dealin in bali is jus like u buyin sum souvinier frm a gift shop…but of coz u do it in a more ‘mysterious’ secret agent kinda way…..shit like 007 talkin but not lookin at each other kinda way…yet tats part of da fun..since most of us dream of doin spies shit anyway….

I bought da shit 4 100kRp. tats bout 30bucks in ringgit..da pack was as big as half a ciggie box….it smells like tea 2 me when i open da shit up…so i thot da shit gon b fine as fuck..yet after puffin 5 of em…i started 2 feel like im bein cheated….da shit aint doin anythin 2 me…i dont feel nothin at all…so i smoke another 3 mo which jus gav me a lil buzz..but not as good as i expected…yes it does gav u a munchies…im not impress…however, da nigga tat sold me da shit said thers gon b a refund if it aint good…man..a REFUND..can u belif tat shit..?? tats good customer service tat msia should practise !! da nite ended wit me puffin da shit n munchin on sum chips tat i bought frm da convinience stor….even if da shit wasnt as good as i thot it would b…i had a great xperience drug dealin outside msia…n da xperience was an eye opener…

to be continue….

p/s: im not encouragin any1 2 do drugs…i stil think its a personal choice..n when it comes 2 tryin things…i agree a lot wit Mr. CHUA aka 蔡澜 said…’ 你只有试过才有资格说好不好’ ( ur only elegible to say whether its good or not after u tried )  I support drug free Msia…..gets ur drugs 4 free n giv em 2 me…

Im not an xpressiv person..i mean at least i dont xpress my feelin wit words..such as..i lov u…i miss u n all tat..2 me its kinda difficult 2 say it..so inconjunction of father’s day..im gon write a letter 2 my dad..he might or might not able 2read this..but heck wit tat..i jus wanna do sumthin 4 him

Dear dad,

Time flies…it really does…i use 2 remember u always do a few donuts 2 show us b4 u ride ur bike 2 work…tat was memorable..i remember u hit me so hard coz i copied da answers frm Poh’s math exercise book…tat was painful……but i doubt u gon remember any of tat now..coz ive seen da back of ur hands turns into sumthin only an old man has..

I dont really know how 2 tel u how much i appreciate ur words of silent…but i do know u’ve been standin bhind me since a long time ago…we hardly ever speak…coz i think u n i look so similar i kinda know wat u gon say ..i know i hav a stinky attitute…a knuckle head tat needs 2 b constantly reminded tat he’s 31 yrs old…well…thnx dad…thnx 4 lettin me b wat da fuck ever i wanna b..n no matter how fucked up im gon turn out 2 b…ur stil ther …

Thank you for teachin me how 2 swim…thank you for lettin me know tat salted fish even tho sumtimes stinks yet it taste good….thank you for teachin me how 2 enjoy a bowl of white rice wit butter + soy sauce…Thank you again 4 all da things u’ve done….even tho u’ve never been brag bout it…

HAPPY FATHER’s day dad…..

4 da past few days…ive been feelin sick lookin at da newspaper watchin all those so cal PEOPLE talkin or should i say bullshitin…..2 me they r jus a bunch of low life tat shoudnt b hang…or fucked..

1st 1 2 b hang..da ex PKR bitch whose goin 2 contest in Penanti…i dont know wat she wanted ..justice..?? revenge..?? this bitch rite here should jus stayout da way…u aint doin da ppl any good…n frm da way she act as a snitch…tapin evry single word of her talks wit da PKR member…really 女人+小人 ..guess even if shes gon b elected i dont think shes gon do a decent job..so yall should b thinkin straight castin ur votes…

2nd is tat 2 stupid chigga tat offerin da ‘package’ 4 da bitch…i mean wat da fuck r yall thinkin..???i know yall been ’set up’ n all n or been ‘ordered’ 2 do so..but since thers not much of a chance of yall candidate 2 lose…y would yall do da offer..?? 小人所为。。。i do understand y u 2 try 2 make this as smooth as posible…but dont u 2 use ur brain ??? if she gon b in y would she get out frm da party da 1st place..??? u 2 niggas should b hang 4 ur stupidity…

3rd 2 b hang…our PPL’s BELOVED RPK…i hav a new name 4 him now…RAJA PETPET…tat fat ass nigga show his true character as a pussy not showin up on court da 1st time n flee his ass 2 ppl said… aussie .. i dont think he’s in aussie..tat nigga is in INDON frm da way i look at da pix he posted…well..Mr. R.Pet K…ur wise enuff 2 run but ur wise enuff 2 NOT show ur pussy ass face on ur blog…who u think u r ..wanna b thaksin..?? wat a jerk…i’ll hang u myself if i hav da chance…nigga..

Last but not least another Penanti Independent candidate who dress up like a fool..last time when he contested in Permatang Pauh he had like wat…62 votes..?? man…i think if im gon contest as a candidate my frens+family members would get me at least 63 votes….but im not gon put my 10k down 4 da sake of gettin tat face of urs on tv….sumtimes i wonder wats da real intentions of 1 2 contest if not 2 serve da ppl….i’ll hang tat nigga sky up 2..

Watever it is…all da above mentioned r grown ass man n women tats makin me pissed..yet ppl think they can DO ppl good…come on ppl..r yall stil think those mentioned r heroes..??? open yall god damn eyes…n take a good look….

Im not frm perak…nor i like 2 b in perak rite now…but i must say da whole political game shit was goin crazy  outta control…u hav 1 side wit its  agenda usin da ‘ppl’s decision’ as a weapon (which i doubt tats thier main purpose )…on da other side ‘power of money’ ?( now at least when u hav d agreen ur in power..i respect tat..tho its not really cool ) …n on top of tat u hav a bunch of niggas tats dont even know which side they wanna b on…(this is da fucked up bunch whom should b hang in my opinion)

im not particularly sad or im mad wit da situation…it aint my state !! but by lookin on sum ‘actions’ on tv…wat pops up on my mind was…damn !! da ppl of perak actually choose all these so call educated…civillise…profesionals as they voices…??? a bunch of monkeys doin stupid shit in front of national tv…a bunch of lunatics screamin… hollerin…cursin..standin on a table pointin fingers at each other…pushin around…like sum balless school kids tryin 2 fight but dare not coz they might get hurt…

I had a small discussion wit sum of my perak frens with regards 2 da issue..n all i get was…yea this is fucked up…but i think its a positiv out come…my say ..NO..this is not alrite…no doubt this has improved…as in ppl r dare 2 voice out thier opinion..ppl ‘think’ they know better…but da fact is..yall jus started another bullshit…whers promises of helpin da ppl..??? yall aint helpin…as a matter a fact yall r jus makin it worse…i bet at this point sum ppl gon start askin…whose da motherfucker who started da shit..??

 u bout 2 ask me tat…let me tel u this…hav u seen a 4 yr old n a 6 yr old fight..?? tats da line they ask when they got caught beatin each other up…if u bout 2 agree da bullshit tat started in house of perak is sum child’s play..i’ll let u say tat…i dont know bout wat yall perak ppl hav in mind..yet i think wit tall those niggas govt u…we jus gon walk backwards insted…

My only concern is..will all these givs an ‘idea’ 4 da rest of da state 2 follow..?? n i hav no doubt in mind tat niggas gon follow…all im sayin is do not encourage all these motherfuckers…if u really concern bout ur future..jus walk away frm da shit…or better yet..sit down n talk properly..n try not 2 make a fool outta urself..

Tats how i wan it…n tats how i feel bout it….

In da mist of all things shitty。。。  u hav da swine flu…da fucked up economy ..n inconjunction of labour day…lets listen 2 sum jokes…hope u enjoy it..sorry 4 those who cant read chinese tho..

伙计：老板。。我想请病假。。去睇医生。。

老板：么野病啊。。。

伙计：感冒咯。。。

老板：你有无听过感冒会死得人既。。？？

伙计：唔系喔。。如果系猪型感冒真系会死架。。。

老板：拿。。你依家去睇医生。。如果唔系猪型感冒咪晒钱。。？万一真系猪型感冒。。。死硬。。买副棺材咪重晒钱。。？？哽系唔知好过知啦。。你话系唔系。。？

伙计：。。。。。。。。。。

老板：拿。。咪话我刻薄。。罗20皮去买个奶罩番黎啦。。

伙计：口罩系嘛。。。奶罩。。？

老板：你都没脑既。。。奶罩有两个罩。。等于买一送一。。况且又lacy又多颜色。。。又可以洗番再用。。。感冒过后。又可以用回做奶罩。。几符合经济效应啊。。

伙计：。。。!@#$%^&*())__

｛改编自半斤八两｝

Happy holidays ppl….